Friday, July 20, 2012

THE LAST DANCE


I am sure all of you are eagerly awaiting the commencement of the 2012 Summer Olympics. But I hope you have not missed our own version of the Presidential games which has been a roaring success over the last several months, thanks to the popular gimmicks, intriguing twists, spine-chilling maneuvers and daredevil stunts of our political gladiators. Please don’t ask me who the athletes to watch out for are! I reserve the right to not answer this preposterous question. For the benefit of some folks who are a little weak in (general) knowledge, I would like to highlight that there are in fact two contenders and not one. And Mamta Banerjee is not one of them!

Though our Presidential process is a fairly insignificant one and its impact is going to affect no one other than our Tourism Department, it has still lived up to the reputation of a tamasha! And what do I say about the sincerity and vigor with which our two crusaders have gone about their campaigns? Certainly in terms of the entertainment quotient, Sangma has an upper hand. He has shown time and again that he has got the moves. His dance performances have lent some flavor to the otherwise monotonous rat race. But he has got some competition from Pranab who has mastered a completely different dance form: dancing to the tunes of Sonia jii. Give the veteran some credit: after all there are so many exponents of this art and to stand out is no mean feat.


But when it comes to planning, no one beats Pranab daa. Right from the day his dream of being Prime Minister was squished, he has been meticulously and masterfully moving the pieces in anticipation of shifting base to Raisina Hill. Right from taking travel tips from Pratibha Patil to ensuring that he is already a President in university textbooks, he is running one hell of an organized campaign. I bet you can accredit two five year plans to this noble cause. I have insider information that even Mr.Obama is seeking his tips. I hope not on matters of Finance though.  And in my not so humble opinion, I think it would be of international interest if they consider a Rotation program in their tenures. Surely the Americans (and the world) would for once welcome a President who is fairly inactive while Mr.Obama can talk his way into the hearts of the Indian Public. Some loose “Change” would help too!

In this entire hullabaloo, the Governmental institutions have been kept on their toes. The Postal Service particularly has had to deal with an unusual surge in the letter traffic as the candidates are on a writing spree urging for support from all quarters. And with majority of those letters being directed to a Ms. Banerjee, a lot of people are wondering about the mysterious absence of an entity called the telephone in the whole process. A Mamta wing has been set up in West Bengal post offices to handle this emergency.  There is also a lot of bustle in jails these days as several inmates are shuttling in and out to wine and dine with the future President of India. If you thought jails were intended to be some form of punishment, you are in the wrong planet.

Be it reaffirming their solidarity or grabbing some brownie media points, the politicos and party allies are enjoying all the attention. Mulayam Singh Yadav has had his share of fun in the process, first by flirting with Mamta for a few hours in what would go down as one of the shortest flings in political history and then doing a sly volte-face showing his homely allegiance to Sonia Matay. Not to mention his latest gimmick, accidentally voting for Purno instead of Pranab. Oops! And there are others who take their team player roles a little too seriously. Mr.Karunanidhi for example keeps announcing his support for Pranab every other day on television, first cordially, then warmly, later resolutely and then officially.  Finally, the cat and mouse courtship drama of the Congress to woo Mamta had all the ingredients of a blockbuster reality show and it narrowly trumped the Paes-Bhupathi-Bopanna extravaganza.

Since there was never a buzz or anxiety (except for Mr.Sangma) around the outcome of the President’s race, the entire country had waited with bated breath as to which side Didi would sway. And boy, did she arrive in style or what! She rendered complete justice to a famous Rajnikanth punchline: “Late aa vandalam latest aa varuven”. Guess you won’t need a translation for that. But even the ever astute politician in Mamta missed the biggest trick that could have changed the landscape of Indian politics. Instead of choosing the poor old pawn Mr.Singh as one of her choices, she could have played the biggest political check mate by choosing the Rook(ie) Mr.Rahul Gandhi. By doing so, she would have had the once in a lifetime opportunity of confining the future of the masses permanently to the future. Now he has announced that he will soon assume a larger role. May our souls rest in pieces! Even a 1000 God Particles cannot save us now!

58 comments:

  1. The ill famous political dance-drama and we the mute spectators!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't agree more! Mute spectators we are! I guess the agony is over in a few days. But then there will some other drama to fill the front pages.

      Delete
  2. Hahaha....Raj, somehow instead of feeling sad for the state of affairs...your post brought many smiles on my face. That's how our country is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Latha. Yeah.. I have felt sad, I have felt angry and then I try to find some humor in my anger too. You can't help it!

      Delete
    2. Was thinking about and this post last night when my husb was reeling the election counting news...whoever wins, doesn't make any difference to us or our country.

      Delete
    3. So true. It doesn't make one little bit of a difference. It is indeed a sad state of affairs!

      Delete
  3. Raj!
    Brilliant!
    Drama Queen...with 19 seats in the Loksabha, she's almost ruling the country!The country and the Center virtually is at her mercy! What a terrible outcome for democracy...

    With a maverick CM, and her ruffian elements, Bengal is definitely going through a historical phase in politics.Her support to Pranab Mukherjee was not entirely unexpected...
    It's a great Indian political drama...
    And yes, the dark knight created mayhem...ah! life is a b****!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is an excellent comment Panchali. This is indeed the season of political drama and melodrama and the politicos are giving Ekta Kapoor and her counterparts a run for their money.

      Delete
  4. The zeal with which Congress pushed Pranab's candidature, had they showed the same conviction for economic reforms - India would have been shining by now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Purba, you couldn't have said it any better! If only they can channel 1/10th of the effort and conviction towards the country and its economy, our country would be much better off! Beautifully said!

      Delete
  5. Excellent write-up,i enjoyed it thoroughly.Can you imagine someone running for president,asking for support because he is a tribal?Does he not have anything better to offer from this highest post,than his lineage?What cost IQ ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much Indu. Glad you found it amusing. The whole drama is funny to say the least. The barbs they throw at each other and the claims they make, it doesn't make anyone feel pleasant about it. And all this for a one sided match whose result has been written in stone even before their campaigns started.

      Delete
  6. I can't write LOL, I mean this is a classic piece of writing. From the comparison of dancing of two candidates, setting up of Emergency wing for Mamta Di and flirting with her; this is one of the most entertaining takes on the elections which as you said has no other significance in our country.

    Is the latest flick that boring? This post reminds me of 'Serial Killers.'

    Thanks for a wonderful Saturday read! This will stay in mind for a very long time.:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would like to copy n paste Saru comment for beautful piece of writing, liked it:)
      TOO GOOD!!

      Delete
    2. I would like to copy n paste Saru comment for beautful piece of writing, liked it:)
      TOO GOOD!!

      Delete
    3. I would like to copy n paste Saru comment for beautful piece of writing, liked it:)
      TOO GOOD!!

      Delete
    4. Thank you so much Saru for the out of the world comment. I am so happy that you liked this post so much. :) I found the whole process amusing (and sad too) and the thing that bothers me even more is that the post could have more meaning if its occupants decide to do something worthwhile in their tenures. I may be asking for too much here though. :)

      Interesting it reminded you about Serial Killers. I think I can relate to that and I can see the connects. :)

      The latest flick.. batman you mean.. I heard it is good. I was just angry about the shocking incident that happened there.

      Delete
    5. Thank you so much Mithilash for the lovely compliments. I am so glad you liked it and your wonderful words mean a lot to me.

      Delete
  7. The whole drama is sad as well as hilarious in the way that you put it. We have some absurdities happening in Bangalore where 17 crores will be spent on pujas to be held in temples to pray for rain. If only this amount was spent for those in need. What do we deserve when we have school dropouts for ministers. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at our political dramas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally agree with you Rachna. This whole inconsequential race has garnered so much attention for no reason. So has every other political drama! 17 crores for rain! That is insane. Instead they can plant a few trees or at least stop cutting them down!

      Delete
  8. Raj, you shine even in this genre! I have scrupulously avoided following the presidential race farce, but your post made me wince -- albeit with a smile :) We deserve all the jokers in the pack and then some.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Zephyr for your wonderful compliment. I too avoid the political gimmicks but they are so in your face that you can't but stop and take notice and then face the conundrum of whether to cry or laugh!

      Delete
  9. Excellent raj! The way congress is biding for pranab, we know what they actually want in the 2014 elections don't we!

    Sickening, and typical politics
    1 The president ofcourse was always just the name sake!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Jenny. Glad you liked it. Yeah.. the hullabaloo that is going into this no show is quite entertaining and irritating to equal measure!

      The President could be so much more if they wish! Alas most of them don't share this opinion.

      Delete
  10. Nice to see a different post from you, Raj. Love the satire. I am not sure why there has been so much drama over the Presidential race, a President in our Country is there for just namesake anyways. ;-) Really hilarious take on the whole fiasco. :)

    But I can't help but notice this statement, "At least you will only be bored and not shot to death!". I felt this sentence was not said in good taste, especially coming from a sensitive author like you. Only the families of the victims know the pain they had to go through. Even though it was meant to be sarcastic but I felt it was not in good taste.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you Akshay for pointing it out. I had written it more out of anger at the mindless things that individuals resort to thereby endangering others so recklessly. But I guess I might have crossed the line and may be it did come out in bad taste. My apologies. I have removed them from the post!

    ReplyDelete
  12. That is a fitting indictment of a Machiavellian fox who has like a leach sucked the soul of this nation dry. Sonia has been deftly manipulated into playing the catalyst. Sangma and Mamta have surely provided comic relief at the expense of a tottering nation.

    Mr Mukherji will go down as the most atrocious finance minister of any nation in the recorded history of mankind. His failures and worse, his petulance, that has brought manifold miseries and fortitudes to billions of this nation, amount to crimes for which he should be punished by having his eyes gouged out and being made to sit on the footpaths to beg for food. What could have been more preposterous than his manoeuvers that have earned him the crown instead.

    Thank you so much for the brilliant unveiling of the wicked private plans of Mukherji in which he has been an exceptional success indeed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Umashankar for a brilliant comment once again. I must say there is so much anger and so much pain in your words. The pain of seeing an impoverished India being sucked out of blood by leaches double the size. It is indeed painful and it feels like experiencing a silent death peppered with excruciating pain and angst. I share that pain with you my friend.

      Delete
  13. India has come a long way, thanks to Many like minded and good will individuals. Now there are a bunch of people who are not only making a mockery of the entire system but also making sure that the name the position which India had all these years, will be brought down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know exactly what you mean Ashwini. As I had said before in one of my posts, India has one unnecessary diversity: exceptional individuals interspersed with exceptionally incapable people who live as parasites on those poor souls. That has been the curse of our extremely rich nation.

      Delete
  14. All the hullabaloo for a post which is just a figure head with nothing really to deliver! Gone are the times of learned men like Dr S Radhakrishnan, Zakir Hussain et al who once lived in Raisina Hill!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What you said exactly reflects our reality. You have mentioned some greats who have made the post something to remember for. Alas, currently there seems to be no scope for the post being of any significance. And the future looks bleak too.

      Delete
  15. I had thought its good time and people have got some sense when they selected Kalam sir but as soon as our the great PP's wonderful generous acts as president of our country came out!! I lost complete hope on Indian Politics and now this drama what you have portrayed so well in combination with Karanataka CM elections drama have made me and many commoners complete blind towards politics and please dont ask me who our CM is or PM or President is by the time I would answer they would have changed!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are absolutely right Ramya. The Kalam saga was an aberration. I am sad that such instance are few and far between. Now we are back to business as usual. Yeah.. the Karnataka CM issue provides even more comic relief. I won't blame those people who turn a blind eye to politics.

      oh btw.. here is a very funny cartoon about the Karnataka situation. :) Check it out.
      http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/cartoon/article3621237.ece

      Delete
    2. LOL :D ROFL loved the cartoon...

      Delete
  16. We are one humor-loving country...And comedy is at its zenith in the highest offices of the country and in the races to reach up there!! God!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfectly said Jayashree. We are one humor loving country for sure. And we have so many such comic elements in our political society that we don't need to look for comedy elsewhere. I think our mega serials are no match for the political dramas that are on offer.

      Delete
  17. the amount of hard work, money, time, manpower that has been used to organise just so one can become a president.. IF Only half that much effort is used for the welfare of the nation.. THINGS will look pretty for our nation.. BUT alas the politicians work hard only to get to that chair..

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You hit the nail on the head Bikram. If a little bit of this dedication or effort is channeled for the development of our country, then we would have been much better off. Now that Pranab daa has swept the polls, it is time for a celebration frenzy. Then time to slumber for 5 years.

      Delete
  18. Raj, this is your best post in this genre that i have read. absolutely flawless piece of writing punctuated with sarcasm and humor. you are one of the best narrators in the blogsphere and this one made us laugh as well. i would say laugh because things have gone beyond the limits for us to be angry. i have absolutely no clue about politics, so, i didn't understand some of the technical things. however, as far as my knowledge goes presidential election (if there is any) has always been a non-event in our country and i was taken by surprise to see so much of coverage, drama and discussions about the entire thing this time around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that coming from the master of this genre is one big effusive praise and a compliment to cherish. :) This really brightened up my day. :)

      You are absolutely right. This whole drama is an unnecessary one that has caught all the attention it doesn't deserve.

      Delete
  19. I am not into political blogs but I enjoyed this :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Ghazala for the lovely compliment. :)

      Delete
  20. I stay one arm distance from politics and its issues.. But the way you have woven these irritating issues by adding your humor makes it an interesting read..:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah Sonia. It is a great thing to stay away from this mess. It keeps your mind at peace. :) Am glad you liked the humor in the post. :)

      Delete
  21. Interesting title. Incisive humour/sarcasm. :) A number of newspapers will love such kind of copywriters. Certainly a very interesting read.

    Cheers,
    Sabyasachi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A very warm welcome to you here Sabyasachi. :) Thank you so much for the wonderful compliment. Am so glad you liked it. :)

      Delete
  22. I love your sense of sarcasm and the satire in this post. I rarely ever read political blogposts. Yours was so well written that I had to finish it and comment on it. Adding you to my blogroll.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A very warm welcome to you Meera. :) Thank you so much for the effusive praise. Am so glad you liked the post and its sarcasm.

      Delete
  23. We call ours a democratic country but we r just mere spectators..sometimes can't sleep at night thinking the fate of the country..now two puppets will rule our country n we will just watch..so unfortunate..those who reach the hot seat think that rest r fool..the president got elected n overnight petrol prices gets hiked by 70 paise..nice write up Raj..poor we!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much for your comment. You said it right. We are mere spectators of this unnecessary and pointless spectacle.

      Delete
  24. Wow!! And what a commentary that was!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Divya for the lovely comment as always. :)

      Delete
  25. wow a great take and a different take...
    www.duringmytimes.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Rajnish. Glad you felt that it was a unique and different commentary. :)

      Delete
  26. Amazing post ! At last , i got someone thinking the way i have been or may be a bigger picture of future than what i have been anticipating ! It is all in all a win win situation for Congress ! very nice post full of humour ! nice work !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much for the lovely comment. That is an interesting perspective. The bigger picture, whatever it is, seems bleak. :)

      Delete
  27. The last dance for the earth around the sun...because the earth has reached its last equinox around the sun...not because the earth is going

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...