AN ALTERNATE HYPOTHESIS TO EINSTEIN’S THEORY OF RELATIVITY

You all might be wondering (You see, I like to believe) where the hell I have been. I have been in a self-imposed exile of sorts. The reason might not be very difficult to guess. Recently I published a cartoon (sort of) which indulged in a (restrained!?) mockery of, let us say, politicians (See Here). And then a few days later, Aseem Trivedi happened. I, too, have a small contribution of cartons to mankind, and they are not exactly famous for their “educational content” or “political correctness”. Now you see why I have been lying low. I see some nodding heads, some bemused faces and a few sarcastic grins. Either ways, I do first want to register my heart felt agony at the treatment that is being meted out to him. These are really dark days. I am not such a brave heart. Hence I went into hiding. Well, for other people who were able to catch my bluff: okay, I agree I have been lazy too!

But this unprecedented harassing of Aseem Trivedi has made me think (err… I see you doubt my thinking abilities). But trust me, the signs are ominous. Inside sources (#$@?) tell me that CBI doesn’t have any work to do and has been given the commission to weed out innocent people like us who, if nothing, try to express our views in different ways and forms. Now I see worried faces. Don’t worry. I believe the CBI would exhibit the same trademark aptitude and adeptness as we have seen it employ so often in trying to track down innumerous corrupt politicians and dangerous criminals. Ah... Now I see some smiles reinforced!

By the way, before I forget, Manmohan Singh did send me a blank email as a silent protest to my cartoon. And how dare I question the caliber of Rahul Gandhi! In his defense, I received two resumes detailing his accomplishments (??!) and the myriad skills in his repertoire; one from the man himself and the other from his “MAA”. And well... you guessed it right. The two resumes didn’t have a thing in common.

Meanwhile, I have had another sensational revelation about the BJP. Though it has been attributing its “hostage politics” of stalling the parliament to “acting in the interests of the people”, I have come to know that the party members have taken a very addictive interest to a certain game called “Poker”. Not the Prince Harry one. That was “Strip Poker”, you silly! This is the U-certified version to suit our “culture”. So everyday these guys make quick work of the session and rush out to have their post-lunch game. And the stakes are so high that the ultimate winner would bag the “Prime Ministerial” nomination for the 2014 elections! Guess that might be their only chance to get a "consensus" candidate! 

Sorry for digressing! Where was I? Oh yeah, I have been exploring my options to defend myself in case anything eventful happens. Not that I don’t trust our CBI, but just in case. My future though, looks bleak. I had this ingenious idea of using Facebook to voice my views, express my concerns and garner some support, but Mr.C’mon man immediately burst my bubble. I recently published a cartoon featuring him and denouncing Facebook. Damn!! And Mr.Zuckerberg didn’t take my article “In your face” too lightly either. I could see that he had personally edited the codes (being an ex-software engineer helps as I can just make this stuff up) to “unlike” all the “likes” the post got on Facebook. You might see this as a cheap gimmick of mine to portray as if I actually got 100 likes instead of the 2 likes you see. But trust me; Mark even unliked my “like”! Now you must be wondering who among the two of us was more desperate! 

You can clearly see I am going nowhere. But don’t blame me. Just like the Indian Industrial output, the US employment data, the value of the Indian rupee, my creativity has also been on an all time low. During such a period of extensive creative drought, I tried my hand at different tactics to spur my brain and get the creative juices flowing but to no avail. Recently I tried writing a murder mystery with Mr.Ramanujem. I did manage to complete that and was feeling pretty comfortable about it until my mom came to play spoilsport. She managed to guess the killer after reading the first page, thus sending the story to the garbage can. My boss, on the other hand, started finding my budget numbers exceedingly mysterious. This made me realize that writing stories during office hours is not such a great idea. If you miraculously thought that I have started working now in office, be well informed that I have reverted back to Solitaire!

I guess both you and me have had a fairly strong dose of boredom by now. So I leave you at peace!

 

P.S: Oh… forgot to tell you. The title was just a spur of creativity. It doesn’t have any relation to what I intended to write. Any relevance you were able to find or infer is purely coincidental.