Sunday, May 19, 2013

FRESH AIR

You may all be wondering what the hell happened to me and where did I disappear? No? At least some of you, I hope! Well, if you are flummoxed and are thinking what the hell is he talking about… then never mind… I will fill you in either ways! About 3 months ago, I had stopped writing! Why? I wish there is an easy answer to it. Well… I wish there there is even an answer to it!

Has this ever happened to you? You have a favorite pen which you are mighty fond of.Not a day goes by for you without writing something with it; no matter how poetic or meaningless it is that you write. But then one day you stop writing and leave the pen alone. You no longer feel like opening your heart to it and sharing your life with it. You ingore it and soon enough you are caught in a quagmire of your own worries and issues that you forget its existence. But then, as all good things that come to an end do, they haunt you! They remind you of what you had once which has ceased to be yours now and suddenly fill your heart with a desperate longing to revert time and go back to them once more. In a mad rush, you run with complete abandon! There it is... where you left it ages ago. Your pulse is high and your heart is racing. You feel it... caress it... a momentary bliss! But wait a minute... something is wrong! The pen is not reciprocating. It is so cold. You can’t feel its pulse. Its ink has dried up. It can’t feel your blood any more. You had left it to die!

This pen could be anything. A thought, an idea, a friend, a hobby, a passion, a loved one! It may even be cocaine but that would be something I am not advising you to go back to! But the point is once you stop something… you will be startled to see how remarkably fast we move on (well... this wouldn’t apply to cocaine either)… how quickly the passion dies… but subconsciously there is an unknown pain and sorrow that keeps haunting you! But you never feel like rekindling that spark. It is a very difficult space to be and it seems so tough to come out of that coma. We start getting comfortable in this new normal only to realize much later that it is not the normal but the ordinary. But in reality, getting out of this vaccuum is pretty easy; all you need is a tiny flash spurred by a touch of madness. That is the conundrum of the paradox but once you realize it, the air around you will feel so fresh and full of life.


The word “memory” when used in “singular” has a mechanical (even robotic) tone to it. You immediately think of a storage device, the computer and so on and so forth. Make it plural, “memories”, everything changes and the word takes on a completely different meaning. There is a human element and a personal touch that get ingrained into it. Your mind screens a little movie of all the beautiful moments that have defined your life and lightened up your time on this earth and you relive those memories with a faint smile in your heart and a bright twinkle in your eyes. Strange isn’t it… how these two words are almost the same but invoke reactions that are light years apart from each other. Now if you are wondering what I am trying to say here, please don’t strain yourself. I myself haven’t a clue! I am writing after a while, so consider it “ring rust”!

 Before you decide that you have had enough, let me try to put some clarity to my random thoughts. At the end of the day… every day… when I look around me… when I look out… when I look in… I see so many things… a million feelings race through my heart…  a  zillion thoughts fill my mind…  so much beauty around… so much pain underneath… I don’t want all of this to just fade away when the sun sets. I don’t want them to be locked in some never to be accessed again “memory” either. These are memories I want to experience again and again, share with all of you, come back to them and laugh and cry and think. So while my pen is still fresh, I have decided to open myself again to its magic! My apologies it took so long!

37 comments:

  1. Welcome back. Missed you. Eager to know about your memories. Loved this post also.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Ranjana. It is glad to be back. I really missed writing.

      Delete
  2. Yapppa finally look who is back!!!!!!!!!! wow get back to writing my friend we have missed you a lot and dont vanish again, this time its not request its warning!!!!

    BTW I havent missed u but yeah I missed fantastic stories and RamanuGem a lot :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know and totally agree. It really felt weird not writing. And thanks for the warning and threat! ;)

      Don't worry. Gem will be back. :)

      Delete
  3. Happy to see you back, Raj! I have missed your poetic musings. And what a beautiful way to come back.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Welcome back. Blog is like a diary, atleast for me, I write things to cherish it in future. The comments add to the value of it. If you have that magical pen with you, write, share and re-live those moments.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ahhh...How I seriously missed seeing you here, Raj. Glad you are back. You know I have this fear too..that I may go into a vacuum one day and never be able to come back. I thought it was the parents' stay..but that isn't all of it, right? :) So, now no looking back..see you have got many of us warning you here ..:)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Like all above i too missed you sorely--good to see you back.I am sure there is a gem niggling it's way out & there will be a fine post soon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Welcome back Raj :) ur pen has all its ink intact as evident in this post :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. beautifully said and so glad that you found your pen and are writing with it again now!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Its happening to me too! Im getting pissed off that Im not writing anything anymore :(

    ReplyDelete
  11. Never ever stop writing. its a pleasure reading your posts :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post's to be what precisely I'm
    looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content in your
    case? I wouldn't mind publishing a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write concerning here. Again, awesome web log!

    my weblog - vakantiehuizen

    ReplyDelete
  13. I did wonder where you were, Raj.
    Nice to see you back. Welcome back. We hope to hear of Ramanu-GEM, Cheeky Chuck and the others, soon.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Gday! This is the second time visiting now and I personally just wanted to say I truley get pleasure
    from looking at your blog site. I have decided to bookmark it at reddit.
    com with your title: Blogger: A beautiful mind!! and your Domain name: http://www.
    blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4648473755487131834&postID=8281123648544353720.
    I hope this is okay with you, I'm making an attempt to give your great blog a bit more coverage. Be back soon.

    Feel free to visit my site advokati u zenici

    ReplyDelete
  15. Nice to see you back Raj and with such a profound piece at that! Whatever you write, it is bound to be good. So carry on!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I've been guilty of so many such habits. But yes they haunt us down and find us and make us see sense :-D. Good to know you're back :-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. no apologies necessary..
    Welcome back Raj !!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hi Raj,

    That's so true! I sometimes feel that way about my exercise routine too! ha ha ha:) But yeah, i know what you mean... You just realise when you come back to something, how in the time you've been away your perspective has only grown. its probably a good thing to take a step back every now and then, what say? :)

    Cheers and all the best,

    j.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I'm impressed! Very helpful info specifically the last part :) I care for such information much. I was seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

    Also visit my web page :: france travel advice requirements

    ReplyDelete
  20. What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious
    familiarity regarding unpredicted emotions.


    my page ... luxe vakantiehuis frankrijk [grotevakantiehuizen.wordpress.com]

    ReplyDelete
  21. It's an remarkable paragraph designed for all the online users; they will obtain advantage from it I am sure.

    My web page vakantiehuisje frankrijk ()

    ReplyDelete
  22. A strange coincidence to stumble upon this piece after writing a shockingly similar one myself. True that ! (http://cosmos-speak-ur-mind.blogspot.com/)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wonderful beat ! I wish to apprentice at the same time as you amend your web site, how can i subscribe for a blog web site? The account aided me a applicable deal. I have been tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast provided shiny transparent concept.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Write my friend,we love to read you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Raj ??? Where have you lost.. Its too long now.. I miss reading you and I also miss that lovely comments of yours on my blog that brought smile on my face..
    Come back !!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. helooooooooooooo where are you matey .. long long time .. I come back and now you disappered

    Bikram

    ReplyDelete
  27. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Although I did not miss your writings as I am not a regular follower but I do read your posts every now and then, today this one caught my mind from the third paragraph. Sometimes isn't it so important to make that tiny urge to keep the 'pen' fresh. Enjoyed reading and enjoyed thinking the air that I need to keep fresh!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ao passar pela net encontrei seu blog, estive a ver e ler alguma postagens
    é um bom blog, daqueles que gostamos de visitar, e ficar mais um pouco.
    Tenho um blog, Peregrino E servo, se desejar fazer uma visita.
    Ficarei radiante se desejar fazer parte dos meus amigos virtuais, saiba que sempre retribuo seguido
    também o seu blog. Minhas saudações.
    António Batalha.
    http://peregrinoeservoantoniobatalha.blogspot.pt/
    Peregrino E Servo.

    ReplyDelete
  30. So beautifully written! And I guess all the writers face this phase some or the other time...

    ReplyDelete
  31. This was heartrendering and emotionally captivating.
    I can relate because I used to keep a journal/diary and I never went without writing in it. Last year was a pretty dark year for me and in every sense I stopped writing in it because I felt I wouldnt be able to hold myself together and after being burnt I was very afraid of being vulnerable.

    But you are right. It's all a part of us. The good bits, the pain and everything.
    It takes courage to open up :)

    Drop by my blog sometime and follow back if you like it.

    Toobs
    www.alwaysandforevertk.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...