Read the Conclusion here
It had been one hell of a day for Raghav. Three months ago, he would not have imagined his life would take such a turn. He writhed in agony. How much did his heart and soul yearn to roll those three months back! He would kill for that. Yes he would. Kill! He was walking back after another fruitless day. With every passing day of ineptitude and futility, his vengeance simmered and its rumble matched the sky’s thunder. It was a dark night and the lack of stars in the sky was synonymous to the lack of compassion in his heart. Compassion is for the weak; hope is for the meek he thought. The bolt of lightning gave him God’s consent.
It had been one hell of a day for Raghav. Three months ago, he would not have imagined his life would take such a turn. He writhed in agony. How much did his heart and soul yearn to roll those three months back! He would kill for that. Yes he would. Kill! He was walking back after another fruitless day. With every passing day of ineptitude and futility, his vengeance simmered and its rumble matched the sky’s thunder. It was a dark night and the lack of stars in the sky was synonymous to the lack of compassion in his heart. Compassion is for the weak; hope is for the meek he thought. The bolt of lightning gave him God’s consent.
Sumitra was pale and her pulse was frantic!
This house which had flooded her mind with myriad memories of bliss now seemed
alien. The windows were closed yet a macabre chillness engulfed her. She could
hear a scream and it was the pain from a wronged soul. The loyal walls echoed
the scream to a deafening resonance. It was their homage to their master! She
had lost track of time and place. She was not in control of herself anymore.
She would wander aimlessly around the house all day desperately searching for
happiness which she felt was permanently buried inside those walls three months
ago. She heard footsteps but they were not approaching her. They were leaving
her forever and she hysterically ran behind them. They led her to that dreaded
well!
It was a hellish night and the streets were
deserted. The wind was lashing ruthlessly and even the burliest of trees were
feeling rickety but Raghav was emotionless and resolute. Nature had nothing to
destroy in a man who had been ripped apart by fate. That moment, a thunder bolt
struck with vicious intensity, and in that split second flash he saw the
silhouette of the car that had rendered his life meaningless. He could still
see frozen blood in its tire tracks. Standing near the car were four men, each
of them deserved a death as cruel as life was for him!
Sumitra stared into the well with a
distracted glare in her eyes. For the first time, she actually realized how
deep it was. There was an invisible chill from deep inside that was more
forceful than gravity as she tried to hold her own. Suddenly she felt a touch
and turned around with a start. It was her father. She smiled at him. He smiled
back. Ironically the smile on his lips blended perfectly with the pain in her heart. She crumbled on his shoulders. He took the position of the well bucket
and implored her to let him go. Tears rolled down his cheeks along with a
lifetime of memories. He “My girl.. I want to give you something before I
leave.” He opened his hands and offered his heart. It was then she noticed the
hole in his chest. She shrieked and released the rope. The bucket splashed
against the water and deposited a few drops of blood on her face. Her soul
trembled at the reverberating echo. She ran inside terrified.
Ramcharan was a simple man who had lived a
life of principle, simplicity and happiness. He lost his wife early and from
then on his life revolved around Raghav and Sumitra. He worked all his life in
the textile mill run by the local big shot Ambarish and his sons. A sad
predicament to a man who was born in a well off business family! But bad luck
and a wastrel uncle spelled doom and by the time he had reached his adolescence
there was nothing left but for their ancestral house. But he was a very content
man and found peace with his fate and happiness blossomed in the form of his
adorable children. He watched them grow up to be fine individuals. While Raghav
became a clerk in the bank, Sumitra took up teaching the little village kids in
the local school. With just a few months for his retirement, the only thing
that worried Ramcharan was Sumitra’s marriage. That was when Aditya came into
their lives.
Aditya was a rich lad who was the charming
and capable son of the local landlord. It took him only 2 visits to the local
school to lose his heart to the lovely and caring school teacher. Ramcharan
knew that Aditya’s family was beyond their means or status but Aditya’s
personality and his sincere love for Sumitra sowed seeds of hope in Ramcharan’s
heart. As he had expected, it wasn’t easy as Aditya’s father turned out to be
the typical haughty landlord and put a huge prize tag for his precious son. His
life long savings would only cover half of it and he reluctantly looked at this
house as it gently smiled back at him. He immediately went to his old friend
Kishorilal who happily lent him money on the house at a minimal interest rate. He
was really surprised and overwhelmed by the rare benevolence of his miserly
friend. He was going to retire and a lump sum awaited for him in a few months
which he felt should be enough to recover the pledged house soon. Or so he
thought!
TO BE CONCLUDED….
They way you have built the plot has left me intrigued and asking for more. Impeccable writing style. I am waiting for the next part...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Meenakshi. :) Am so glad you like the writing style and the story. :) The next part would be up very soon. :)
DeleteOh gosh, you have stopped here! awaiting the next part. The well part of the story, really gave me the goose bumps. The scene practically played in front of my eyes! I guess I know how this goes ahead.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Jenny for this wonderful comment. :) Your comments are always so special. :)
Deleteoh wow... hmm.. looks like you have thought out how this is going to play out. :) Let us see how close you are! ;) Sorry for stopping the story at an important point. Will put up the next part very soon. :)
DeleteNo Raj. Your imagination power is miles ahead of what I have! I never thought about that twist. I never realised about all the deaths of all those 3 people.
Deletehe hee.. no way. That is the advantage of the writer. You can introduce any twist you want to. :P Hopefully it was not forced into the story. Let me know if you thought so!
DeleteTitle is very fascinating... it caught my eye the moment I saw it :P
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Jyoti for the lovely comment. I am glad you liked the title. Hope you like the second part too. :)
DeleteI am happy that you have picked up this genre again-already hooked.Your words bring out the whole scene so vividly,it is a pleasure to read you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Indu. I am happy to back to this genre too. :) I am so glad the story has got you hooked. :) The second part will be out very soon. Hope you like it too. :)
DeleteOh My god very very gripping story totally was lost in the magic of your words and then you leave us in suspense cant wait please please post the next half soon.
ReplyDeleteAmazingly written, just cant find right words to praise this tooooooo good Raj,
BTW though its not the style, should I expect my hero Ramanujem in the second half?
Thank you Ramya for this wonderful wonderful comment. Every comment of yours makes my day. :)
DeleteDon't worry.. I won't keep you waiting for a long time. The second part will be up very soon. :)
yeah.. you guessed it right. Sorry.. Ramanugem is not going to make an appearance here. But he will be back very soon. ;)
DeleteAwesome Raj.. Your stories always leave us spell bounded but I hate the last line TOO BE CONTINUED... :(
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Sonia. I couldn't squeeze all of the story in one part. But good news is: the second part is out there. So do read and let me know what you think. :)
DeleteThat's fascinating Raj. I hope the next part is coming up soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Jas. I am so glad you liked it. :) The second part is up. Hope you like it too. :)
DeleteWhen you said that the footsteps were not coming but going away, it epitomized pain and loneliness. Also, the line 'smile perfectly blended with the pain in his heart.'
ReplyDeleteYou portrayed the pain and emotions in your narrative with such honesty and detail that I am having sympathy with them. Hope the story ends on a positive note...
Saru.. every comment of yours is so special. :) The way you are able to see and read what emotions and thoughts I had in my mind for each of the characters is phenomenal. It makes the writer so happy. And I am so blessed to have a wonderful reader like you. :) Thank you so much.
DeleteNow that you have read the second part, I am sorry.. the story didn't end on a very happy note. :( I must write one of those. Too many of my stories have sad endings I think. :(
DeleteRaj that is a good story and its coming up very nicely.
ReplyDeleteamazing and i will say the same what others have said lovely story
Bikram's
Thank you so much Sirji. Am so glad you liked the first part. :) It really means a lot. :)
DeleteNot saying anything....next part plssssssss......
ReplyDeletehe hee.. okies.. am waiting for your comments. :)
DeleteThe second part is up. Do let me know what you think. :)
Deletethis is a brilliant start. we have no clue where the story is heading. one thing for sure, i will be visiting your blog everyday to see whether you have written the next part or not.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Deb. Am so glad you like the first part. :) He he.. that is the advantage of writing a story. You can keep it vague and twist it the way you want even if it makes absolutely no sense. Half of my stories are like that. :P
DeleteAnd yeah... the second part is up. Do let me know what you think. :)
DeleteContinue. your readers await what happens next. it has unfolded in quite a fashion so far:-)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Stuti. It is always wonderful to see your comment. :) Am so glad you liked the first part. :)
DeleteContinue. your readers await what happens next. it has unfolded in quite a fashion so far:-)
ReplyDeleteThe second part is up too. Hope you like that one as well. :)
DeleteLove your story telling as always...that incident at the well was frightening...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Bhavana. I am so glad you like my writing style. That really means a lot. :)
DeleteThank you so much Ashwini for that wonderful wonderful compliment. :) Nothing can be more fulfilling for a writer. :) You just made my day. :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent narration...am going over to part2!
ReplyDelete