IN YOUR FACE

Eight years ago, he posted pictures of his fellow students online and asked who was hot and who was not. Today he is the self-proclaimed supreme overlord of one of the hottest companies in the world. The cocky 27 year old may not yet be richer than Bill Gates, but he already has a movie to his credit (or discredit)! And with plans of an IPO this summer, that could value his brainchild (supposedly!) “Facebook” between $75 and $100 billion, Mr.Zuckerberg could very well be playing his favorite game “Monopoly” in Silicon Valley. All this for a company that generates around $4 billion in revenues and makes just $1 Billion in net profits! You must be saying that it is a case of extreme Face-bullishness! May be! May be not!

So why is it touted to be a phenomenon or “The Next Big thing”! Why has it become so essential a part of our lives that we are hooked on for hours? Put in simple words, Facebook has just picked up a prehistoric human instinct: the instinct to socialize and has rendered it extinct by making it virtual. It has simply made “Staying in Touch” easy (read that “lazy”)! You don’t have to visit relatives anymore. You don’t have to make that weekly or bi-monthly call to your friends. You don’t have to listen to them rant, boast, brag, crib, complain, reminisce! All you have to do is click a “Like” button without ever knowing what in the hell is happening in their lives! And if you are in the mood, you can actually make an irrelevant comment which in all probability will not be read. You stay in touch and life is good! Forever!

Photo albums and invitation cards will soon go out of business as you will attend functions online without knowing if it is a wedding or a dinner party. Just RSVP and move on. As time goes on, your face will swell with pride as you see your number of friends grow to astronomical proportions. It’s another matter that you would also find it increasingly difficult to put names to faces. But it still gives you a larger than life appeal. You feel omnipresent and omniscient. Which is why a crappy Saturday evening browsing status updates of friends and performing slothful rituals of random likes,  comments and updates feels more satisfying than a fun outing with your best friend or a night at the opera with your loved one!

From a more psychological perspective, Facebook gives us space to express. It gives you an audience which in reality is a vacuum filled with blue and white smoke made up of zeros and ones. But what the heck: we are so desperate to opine and show off that we don’t differentiate a bunch of hay from a ragdoll. We continue to pour in our inner most thoughts, profound ideas, profane feelings and insane deeds with absolute abandon. For all we know, Facebook might have been the CIA’s idea of digging up truckloads of information about all of us, the easier and fun way. You may be laughing your kidneys out, but at least China thinks so! Which is why, despite Mr.Zuckerberg’s lame attempt to learn Mandarin, China is out of reach of his “Social Network”. Talk about being “anti-social”!

But despite the China handicap, Facebook is nearing 1 billion users which would account for 1 in 7 of the world’s population and it accounts for 1 in 7 minutes spent online. Well, if ever Facebook was awarded a “Country” status, it would be the third most populous, just behind our 2 famous “You-know-who”s. It is so heartening to see people waste so much time. Wait a minute! I have only been Face-bearish all this while. 

I am no sacrosanct nor am I friends with Kapil Sibal. I do admit that Facebook indeed has its share of “goods”! It balances our “crazy as hell” life and helps us transcend time and distance to stay reasonably in touch with our close ones. It entertains us; keeps us informed and lets us have some fun. Most importantly it gives us second chances. It puts us back in touch with long forgotten people we wished we had never forgotten. It keeps our friends “within our sights and reach”! But it is up to us to actually reach out to them. You still have to come out of the illusion to make and keep friends.  It may be okay to use Facebook to know what is going on with your relatives or to wish your friend “Happy Birthday”. But when your wife comes to know about your promotion through your Facebook update, you know it’s not good for your health anymore!