Thursday, December 31, 2015

BEING A FATHER

Being a parent is one of the best if not the best feeling in this world and I am sure a lot of you would be nodding your heads right now. For others who are basking in their bachelorhood days or the honeymoon phase, enjoy it to the fullest before you get ready for another adventure. Before you start speculating, let me clear the air. This piece is not going to be a comparison of these phases of life. It is not a debate as to whether one should marry or not, have kids early or travel the world before you decide to. Anyways, I hope you won’t be making such important life decisions after reading my blog.

This is a reflection of some of my magical experiences of being a brand new father. Very recently, the first love of my life gave birth to my second love. I had not really put much thought into what it takes to be a father. I knew I could never be fully ready, but I thought I would do just fine. (Well the verdict is not out on that yet, by the way). But the feeling had not really sunk in. I was ecstatic of course, but I didn’t know what to expect. But when it happened, something inside me changed. When the nurse placed Maya in my arms for the first time and I looked at her as she was trying to open her eyes to look at the world, I knew I was ready.

I had never held a baby before. Well, maybe once or twice but not for more than a few minutes. But holding her came naturally. Putting her to sleep was challenging but a lot of fun. Losing sleep in the middle of the night was not annoying. And despite having little sleep, my wife and I always looked forward to being woken up by her early in the morning. That is because the moment she opens her eyes and looks at us, she will give us such a big smile that will brighten the entire day for us. 

And oh… how can I forget? Diapers! That’s the good stuff. We can get into beat the clock challenges on changing diapers now. And our little one is mighty naughty. Here is something that will happen very frequently. I will see the yellow line turn blue on her diaper. Aha…. She has peed. So I will decide to change her diaper. She will wait for me to open and remove the diaper and then will spray me just in time before I put on a new one, thus wetting everything in the process. What a smart ass! Literally! And then she will give me her happy beaming smile. Mission accomplished for her, I guess.

We all had so many lovely little incidents with our cute prankster and there is never a dull moment with her. Here is another incident from one fun evening where I was alone with her. Normally we spend some quality time and have a lot of fun together. This was one of those days when she decided to play Miss Crank Pot. Here is the outline of my plan for the evening. My wife had just fed her before going out. That would mean it would normally take at least an hour (normally two) for her to get hungry again. I thought I would play with her for a while and then put her to sleep. And if she got hungry, I thought I would feed her a bottle. I know a lot of people grinning. You are right. When have our plans ever worked? Especially when we have such a strong veto authority around!

As soon as I put her on the bed, she started shifting uncomfortably. A gentle moan soon turned into a moderate wail. I turned on the swinging toy hanging above. A lion, sheep, duck and bear followed each other happily in a merry-go-round. Miss Maya was not impressed. The wail persisted and slowly started turning into a full blown cry. Not to worry. I got this. Or so I thought. It was time for Plan B. I decided to try and put her to sleep. I took her in my arms and put her over my shoulder. The scream stopped. I started pacing around the room. After 10 minutes I decide to check if she has fallen asleep. Nope. She was quietly staring at me. What else have you got? I decide to throw a lullaby into the mix. Now you must consider the fact that I am person who hesitates to even sing in the bathroom to put the situation in perspective.

She seems to give me a chance for a while as she patiently listens to a song. She doesn’t cry but she is more awake now. I refrain from testing her patience any further. Twenty minutes gone. My shoulder starts to hurt a little. I decide to put her down and see if she wants to play. The minute I put her on the bed, she starts yelling and screaming with full intensity. Okay, I still got this. May be she is hungry. But she just drank her milk half an hour ago. Not the time to be rational. So I try to feed her. She kicks and shrieks but still manages to drink half the bottle. She doesn’t want to drink any more. But she is still crying. I again put her on my shoulder and the yelling stops again. I like the sentiment that she loves her daddy very much. But try explaining that to my shoulder.

I decide to walk around again with her in my arms. I swing her, rock her and try all my tricks to see if she will sleep again. Another 15 minutes go by. Her eyelids start batting and she seems to be ready to fall asleep when my phone vibrates. Damn! She is wide awake again. The clock is set back to zero. I decide to give it one more go and start pacing again. Another 20 minutes go by and my shoulder is hurting real bad. And madam is still looking around and trying to memorize the layout of her house. Now I start talking to her. I tell her how much I love her, call her all the sweet names and explain to her that I have tried all the options and that she should consider her father’s plight and go to sleep. I hear many of you go: “Yeah right: As if she is going to understand a single word!” I agree but the craziest things happen. The big lady she is, Maya listened very patiently and exactly when I finished, she said: “huuuu”. That is a yes in her language I assume. That is because she went to sleep in the next 5 minutes.

I cuddled and caressed her a little more and when she seemed to be in deep sleep, I put her on the bed. Then something changed and I wanted more of her. So I took her out of the bed, sat down and put her in my arms so that I can watch her sleep. As I looked at her sleeping blissfully in my arms, I noticed the corners of her lips held together oh so slightly. And as time passed by, the invisible glue slowly gave in and the lips started to part slowly as if she is smiling at you gently. I was so tempted to plant a kiss on her blood rose cheek but I dreaded waking her up. I mulled on it for a while and in the end, greed took over and I kissed her with trepidation. She stirred as I trembled in anxiety. And then she gave me an even bigger smile with her eyes closed. My heart skipped a beat. She then turned around as if she wanted me to kiss her on the other cheek. What a sweet little bonus! And then she slept like a doll for the next two hours.


I will stop for now before I go rambling on into eternity. I am sure I will have a tale to tell every day. All these memories will be transfixed in my heart drive, ready to be flashed back into my mind and played back through the lens of my eyes. I am pretty sure I will be pressing the rewind button a lot. 

46 comments:

  1. Enjoying fatherhood ! I know the most difficult part is to put the baby to sleep. You have found many ways for that.

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    1. Yeah Ranjana.. fatherhood has been awesome. :) Putting her to sleep is lot of fun. :)

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  2. How lovely! Congratulations about your little bundle of joy. Look forward to reading more of your daddy tales. Lovely to reconnect, Raj.

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    1. Welcome back Rachna. :) Thank you so much for the lovely wishes. Yeah... I am sure I will have a lot of fun stories to tell.

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  3. Welcome to fatherhood. The journey has just begun.

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    1. Thank you so much Purba. :) So looking forward to this amazing journey.

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    1. Thank you so much daaa.. :) How r u? Long time.

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  5. Amazing post! Congratulations on being a father :-)

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    1. Thank you so much Stuti. :) It is going to be one fun ride.

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  6. Lovely post ... Very well said raj ... I can feel every word of it

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    1. Thank you so much Ramya. I know... you must be having an amazing time with your little bundle of joy. :) Enjoy it to the fullest.

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  7. So sweet! It will get better but it won't be a smooth ride all the way. But it is one beautiful ride. Sit back, fasten your seat belt and enjoy!

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    1. Thank you so much Zephyr. Looking forward to every bump in this joy ride. :)

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  8. Aww....how sweet! Congratulations, Raj! This explains more of your absence:) Maya! What a lovely name. I just love that name. My colleague had a baby 6 months back. They were battling on naming the baby Rhea or Maya and I lobbied her to name Maya ;-) How sweet of you to try to put her to sleep. Not all dads can do that. Waiting to read more of your daddy stories.

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    1. Yeah... That definitely explains my absence. :) We too picked the name Maya instantaneously. It just stuck in our heads. :) She is very sweet. She goes to sleep very easily. Yeah... I am sure I will have lots of interesting stories to tell. :)

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  9. Aww .. That was really heartfelt! Transported me back to Joshua's and Daniel's baby days ... Can totally relate to every.single.experience. you cited, specially the joy and bliss you feel holding and watching a sleeping baby in your arms!
    God bless your beautiful family and look forward to connecting with you guys sometime soon!

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    1. Thank you so much Sandy for the lovely words. Now I can start to imagine how wonderful it would have been and is with Joshua and Daniel. It is certainly an amazing feeling. Yeah... looking forward to hanging out with you guys very soon. :)

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  10. Hearty Congratulations... Beautiful name... That was such a sweet write up.... Happy parenting :)

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    1. Thank you so much for your wonderful wishes Jaish. :) Yeah... I am looking forward to this out of the world experience.

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  11. Hearty Congratulations... Beautiful name... That was such a sweet write up.... Happy parenting :)

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  12. What a sweet and beautiful article filled with love and humor. Thank you for such an awesome way for me and others to acquaint with Miss Maya and a new Raj!

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    1. Thank you so much Scarlet for your lovely words. :) We should catch up very soon so that you can meet Maya. :)

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  13. That's an amazing one.. Congrats to the parents and welcome little princess Maya.. Please keep posting her charms on FB aswell 😘 God bless her with lots of energy to trouble you 😁

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    1. Thank you so much Ranjana. :) I will keep posting her pranks. And yeah... she seems to have an endless source of energy.

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  14. You took me back a decade and half in time. I, too, remember the eye of one of the twin blessings God had sent our way that day. And how I and my wife both had a toy for each one of us till they grew up and, well...

    Congratulations!

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    1. I am sure you would have some amazing memories to share with your twin darlings. :) They make our lives more precious and meaningful. :)

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    1. A warm welcome to you here Uppal. Thank you so much. That is such a sweet comment.

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  16. Beautiful name - Maya. Congratulations! And I can say only one thing after reading this post - you are a terrific dad. You are so right, one can never be fully ready to be a parent.

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    1. Thank you sooo much Saru for your lovely words. :) Yeah... you don't know what is coming your way but you eagerly await every moment of it.

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  17. Many congratulations... enjoy the precious little bundle of joy, daddy dear.... :-)

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    1. :) Thank you so much Archana. Yeah... looking forward to all the precious moments.

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  18. My first visit to your blog. Totally loved this post as I have a 6-month old too. I thought someone is writing what I am experiencing, esp. the sleeping part, the smile part, the milk part...yes, everything :-) Babies are such a bliss. It can't be quantified, only felt in such beautiful moments.

    Congratulations for your new bundle of joy. Keep sharing about Maya and I am glad your readers would smile back.

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    1. A very warm welcome to you here Shaifali. :) Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. Yeah... such moments are so precious and will remain with us forever. You too have a wonderful time with your little bundle of joy. :)

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  19. Aww...!! Raj!!
    Welcome back and welcome to the parenthood club.
    Oh and Congratulations to you.

    It's so, so nice to read you again. I look forward to more Maya tales. I already love her. :)
    OMG super-sweet post, Raj.

    Btw, a rocking chair might be a great idea, you know -- to put the little princess to sleep, I mean. And daddy might (also) fall asleep in the process; don't say I didn't warn you. :)

    Happy Fatherhood Raj.
    And Happy and Happening 2016 (that, I'm sure it will be, ;))

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    1. Hi Divya... soooo nice o see you back. :) Thank you so much for such a beautiful comment. Oh yeah.... Rocking chair is a great idea. I have been thinking about that. :) I might just get that. Yeah... I am going to have a lot of interesting tales. :)

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  20. What a beautiful write. I could visualize each and every moment. Congratulations on being such a loving Pa!

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    1. A very warm welcome to you here. Thank you for your lovely wishes. :)

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  21. Raj paaji. . First if all congratulations. .wowow.. you kept it hidden. Where is the party. .

    When do I turn up..
    God bless the little one..

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    1. Bikram paaji... tussi aa jao kabhi bhii... party karenge... :)

      Thank you so much Sir ji for the lovely wish. :)

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  22. Congrats Raj! Lots of love and blessings to the little one!

    Such a cute daddy post this is! Most dads can't express their love half as beautifully, thought they might feel the same...putting that on print is awesome! enjoy every minute of daddyhood, it's probably the best feeling in the whole world!

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    1. Welcome back. :) Thank you so much for the lovely words. You made my day.

      Yeah... I can't agree more. Fatherhood is indeed an amazing feeling.

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  23. Enjoy your fatherhood and happy days ahead :) nice post!

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    1. A very warm welcome to you Shweta. :) Thank you so much for your wishes and the lovely comment. :)

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